Truthfully Speaking

Love is friendship on fire.

It's the truth, the only truth I know when it comes to friendship and love. Friends who make that connection with one another are more likely to have a lasting relationship. Sadly, even the thought of one is burned into the back of my mind. I would be happy if I had any relationship but like anything in life, it can't be forced. The rivers current won't be swayed by will alone. Even knowing that it hasn't stopped me from trying.

In early August Sean Paul and Kanye West will be some of the musical talent to be at this years Street Scene in Downtown San Diego. I'm probably going this year. I can't miss Kanye West live because the kid is a straight up lyricist. Not to mention there is always good jazz at Street Scene. In fact, back in the day my jazz band participated. Good times.

Nacho Libre comes out tonight. Hell yeah. ( Read more... )

I don't ever want to give up on friendships. But it's a two way street. Sometimes I'm completely misunderstood. Othertimes I can be a real jerk. Anyone whom I've called a friend should know that I meant it. That your friendship means the world to me. I don't ever mean to hurt you because I really do care. Some of you know exactly how much I care and how much you mean to me. Keep that in mind when I seem to lose my way.

The night started out bad but is ending very well. I feel calm and relaxed. I'd like to keep that trend going from here on. If I ever have a down start to my day that it will inevitably end up being ok.

PS....I'm very happy for you.

Why are fundamental questions of life rarely discussed? No one ever talks about where we come from and why were here. You have to either join some religious group or talk about it in philosohy 101. People don't talk about interesting subjects anymore. It's kind of disheartening. What's worse is that all I ever do is sit here and think. Being full of questions for people and no one to talk to is more frustrating than watching your favorite sports team lose a close game. I'll continue to believe that life is fickle. That we are here for some purpose. I'll continue living my life and searching for that purpose. Maybe one day I'll be surprised and find something that fulfills my purpose. Of course, there is always the possibility that it won't happen.

Mediocrity.....

A forgotten person, a forgotten man. Man? I think not. You swine. You pulsating sack of shit. You mean nothing to the world. You've done nothing to prove your worth. Your a waste of existence, you waste our air. A shadowy nothingness. Your a parasite that feeds off of others. You meaningless fizzle...inept peace of garbage. Crawl back under your rock and leave this life to those who would live it. Let the superficial crotch pheasants be. Maybe, just maybe...you'll be ressurected as something more than you are. Of course, that doesn't say much for who you are today. At least your existence is acknowledged.

I stood in line at the Navy Federal Credit Union today for half an hour. That would have really sucked had it not been for the company I had. It's a nice start to the day when you meet good people.

Going to go work out for a couple hours today. Have a nice day everyone.

I used an image of yours Fi. It got me thinking. XD


( Babe and Panda )

Indeed.

My weekend sucked. I spent most of my Friday night driving around the city looking for a music scene. Seriously, every club seemed to be playing rock. I don't knock it but I don't want to listen to it late night on a Friday. Just not my thing. Give me soul, r&b, jazz or hip hop please.

Very uneventful weekend. I was dissapointed all the way around. Turned 28 on Sunday...didn't do anything for my birthday. I feel so old. This is the first time I did absolutely nothing for myself.

Oh Kendy, thankyou for remembering my birthday. It means alot to me that someone did...even if your my ex-wife. ^^

Gotta give alot of love to Abby and Fi. Thanks for tonight. With that said, I have the perfect character for that movie Andrew and Abby were talking about in Chicago.



Oh yeah, snakes and planes.....

Final Thought

LOL @ Manboobs!!!!

Dissapointment is a norm. So much so it's easier to cope with. If I could live in my own little world I would.

I learned this morning that a good friend passed away several days ago. All of you on my friends list know him and some know him better than myself. Stan/GR passed away on May 15th. He never woke up when he went to bed that night. I don't really know what to say except that he was a powerfully smart man who had more intelligence in his finger than most people do in their entire body.

I wish I didn't let stupid things get in the way of our friendship. I hope you knew how much I admired you. I'll never forget the countless hours we spent talking about the most random of things. You were like an evil brother. I'm going to seriously miss you.

http://www.legacy.com/Kalamazoo/LegacySubPage2.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=17805983

;-;

I'm so very bored. In fact, I think I'll redo my bio.

I had a very nice weekend. Spent some time at Blind Melons in Pacific Beach and listened to a great local group called Revelations. Good music, great atmosphere and a relaxing environment. Definitely doing it again this weekend.








Much love to Fiona. Thanks for pushing me in the right direction. You and Helen were right about so many things. I wish I had woken up earlier. Regardless, I'm not ever looking at the past again....only what lies ahead in life.

*A ryhme for Fi*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yo, you were right about me seeing the world
Feeling the word, and dancing with some beautiful girls.
I'll continue taking baby steps...
You saw how in the past I kept on breaking my neck.

I think you always had my intrest in mind
Inspired this rhyme, I simply had to break you a line.
I'll keep all my emotions in check.
No more heartbreaks, I'll do for me and build off respect.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Revelations beat to my own words. Thanks Fiona, Helen.

This reminds how incredible my friends are. I recieved an email while away at Acen from Crys that had me smiling for an entire day. You all have no idea how much I appreciate you. And Crys, I'm glad were still so close. I'm really proud of your accomplishments. That reminds me, I need to get that website when the work is done. I want to see some more of your stuff.

Kyuu, remember that late night conversation we had with Matt? I think that helped me alot....thanks man.

Acen was great! I don't know what else to say. Meeting up with friends and just soaking it all in was well worth the terrifying plane trip. Yes, I hate planes. I'm still developing my pics. Oh and the only regret I have is not having the time to enjoy Chicago's nightlife. A very beautiful city with a whole lot of history. That would be obvious seeing as how Chicago is America's 3rd largest city. Rock on Chicago.

If feelings were made of liquid mine would be an ocean
open seas calmed only by the presence of hope
I find that hope in a mythical goddess of unimagineable beauty and grace
my Aphrodite...
she speaks to me in my dreams...whispering of hope and love that bathes my psyche
filling my heart with joy and warmth
gracing me with life again...giving me purpose
until the moment I wake up to find that I'm no longer in a dream

I told Juan some of my woes and he starts making plans. lol Crazy guy....but I think he's right. It's time I started living again. I just don't think I can go bar hopping all night on the weekends like them. These guys are too much for me...

My horrible work just got a bit better. My boss hired someone I know from a common acquaintence. Finally someone else at work I can relate to besides Alma, Paul and Ryan. The significance in that has to do with people per shift and how often we see each other. Either way, this is a good thing.

Fiona, I think you can do it. I have complete faith in you.


I don't look forward to sparring. I don't look forward to sparring. I don't look forward to sparring. But I must.

Mega group coming up this Monday. I'm taking pics!

I'm out of the doghouse!!!!!! w0000t *massive hugs* I've missed you.

Acen in under 2 weeks. Aphrodite gets much attention. *heart*

RANDOM UPDATES FOR THE WIN!

Glancing in your direction you smile at me
My heart races...eyes shut..
A summer breeze flows through the garden as if flowing through your hair
Orchids and dandalions dance in the sunlight as it touches each corner of perfection
The love that's seemingly overflowing warms to the touch
As if you yourself were wrapping your arms around those who saw your beauty
My eyes open...your standing next to me....still smiling
Blush

Don't know why I like this image of myself so much. My hand moved when I took it. But it's still somewhat unique to me for some reason. Might have to do with my mood that evening.

( More rambling )

If you comment...

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.

I almost made a very depressing update. In a way I still did. Anyways, Savhanna hasnt called me back since our breakfast. I guess being nice affords me the luxury of getting hints in the nicest of ways. By telling me something I may want to hear and then no follow up. This is why being nice sucks. Its also why my life sucks....I can't be anything else than who I am and who I am isn't what the opposite sex wants.

I ran on Friday and Saturday mornings like normal and lifted. But I took Sunday off to try and recover. Unfortunately I haven't recovered from being sick just yet. So Im going to just continue running regardless of the pain.

20 days till Acen.

I'm really not feeling well and I'm trying to decide if I have it in me to run this morning. Yesterday I ran a mile then did the stance training and lifting. But I didn't run again in the afternoon. I slept from 10:00am to about 9:00pm. I wonder if I should just sweat this cold away or if that's going to make it worse. It's hard to tell. My throat is sore, and my nose is running. I feel miserable...but I would feel worse if I didnt work out.

21 days till ACEN.

I ran a mile and did some stance training before lifting weights. Then went to bed around 9:30am and woke at 3:00pm. Ran another mile and walked a mile before settling myself down. I plan to do this every day for the next 3 weeks.


So today I think I'm coming down with something. My nose is stuffed and my throat is sore. Will it stop me from working out? Heck no! I havent been this determined to do better for myself in a long time. Plus I find that if I could actually do this everyday for 21 days it would prove that I can do whatever I put my mind to. No matter how much I hate doing it.